10 Tips to be a Successful Karate Parent
Perseverance or Futility?
July 6, 2010 by bqsinc
Filed under Philosophy, Success
If Sissyphus were alive today he’d be living in Colorado and, instead of eternally rolling a boulder up a hill only to see it roll back to the bottom, he’d be forced to edit our Phase 2 Self-Defense Techniques DVD in iMovie and have it crash each time it’s about done only to have to start the whole thing over–again. (yes, even with backing up every few minutes)
Perseverance or futility? Well, I’m teaching myself a new program, Final Cut, so we’ll see if I can get this DVD done and out within the next week or so. If you see my hunched over my computer with an intense look on my face it’s because I’m more determined (obsessed?) than ever to get this DVD out because I know lots of people are waiting for it.
Wish me luck.
I wonder, how do you react to disastrous setbacks? Are you like me? Do you get that emotional rush and overwhelming feeling of “What’s the point? This will never work.”
If this happens to you I hope that’s not the ONLY reactions you have. I fear that most people react this way and just give up. I hope you respond like I do and experience the powerful emotions that follow the self-pity.
When I’m done focusing on how unfair it is that all my work was for naught I always get hit with a tidal wave of emotion. That feeling is a pit bull-like determination that something as silly as this will NEVER STOP ME. I re-focus and re-double my efforts to break through whatever barrier is in front of me and overcome whatever setback I may have faced.
From experience, I know these setbacks usually wind up spurring me to much higher levels of accomplishment. That is sweet success.
I hope the same for you.
Karate Saves Biggest Loser’s Life
Our Daily Mission is to change lives and, as you’ll see, Karate has already changed the lives of some high-profile celebrity fitness trainer. One of the most famous, Biggest Loser Host Jillian Michaels says karate did more than change her life, it saved it.
Now she uses the focus, discipline and lifeskills from the martial arts to help people overcome obesity and get “WarriorFit” as we say. Here’s a hint–look a little deeper into the lives of the most successful people. Odds are you’ll find the Karate-Connection.
“Karate saved my life,” she says. “It all stopped the day I broke two boards with a kick.”
–Jillian Michaels, “The Biggest Loser” Star Trainer in Redbook Magazine, June 2010.
To Check out the original article Click Here.
Easter Egg Riots
April 5, 2010 by bqsinc
Filed under Philosophy, Success
Saturday we hosted our annual Academy Easter Egg Hunt, and despite the heavy winds, it was a great morning and all the kids had tons of fun. Siena even got to participate in her first egg hunt ever. Thanks to Nathan Ooms for backing off and letting her find some eggs. That was very kind of him and it made her day.
After our Easter Egg Hunt, I witnessed two other Egg Hunts that I just need to contrast to our well-disciplined and courteous egg hunt.
The first was directly following our egg hunt in Boulder. We went to get Siena’s hair cut for the first time and stumbled across a toy store’s egg hunt in their tiny concrete square outside their store. Coming right from our hunt in a nice, spacious park to this cramped quarters was striking.
You couldn’t really call this an egg hunt. It was more like an Easter Egg Scramble because all the eggs were just dumped into this concrete circle and all the kids were unleashed to shove and jostle to collect as many eggs as they could. It was a frenzy and had none of the FUN of exploring to find hidden Easter Eggs.
Dr. Karla and I were a bit repulsed and both said, in unison, “Siena’s never going to be a part of that.”
On Sunday — with the second Easter Egg Hunt Incident — It got worse!
I happened to catch a TV news report of an “Easter Egg Hunt Gone Wrong” in New Hampshire. Again, not really a hunt as much as a piranha-like feeding frenzy.
Hundreds of kids were in a field where eggs were dropped from helicopters. The best efforts of the organizers were to no avail in keeping the ravenous kids under control. They stormed the field, running each other over, knocking each other done in a mad dash fueled by pure “id” to collect more eggs than they could possibly ever need.
Of course the TV announcer was aghast at how this could happen, but as a martial arts teacher my first response was, “really, what else did you expect”? I sometimes joke that our kids are like locusts at our Easter Egg Hunt, but it’s a joke. Our SMAA kids were the pinnacle of restraint and just plain NICE as they searched for eggs, even going so far as to help others who didn’t have many eggs find more eggs.
These kids, in such overwhelmingly large numbers, really were like locusts. File that Easter Egg Riot under “you had to see it to believe it.”
This Easter tale has one last component. Sunday morning Siena, now 2, had her first Easter Egg Hunt at home. On Saturday we colored eggs with her, an event in itself. Watching her face as she helped dunk eggs and see them change color was priceless, as any parent would know. As fun as that was, guiding her to find the eggs the Easter Bunny had hidden was better. Seeing her scan the house, then spot an egg on the ledge, then exclaim, “there’s one!”– MAGICAL.
Some things are better in small numbers.
It’s Karate, not Karoshi
March 29, 2010 by bqsinc
Filed under Philosophy, Success
This week is St. Vrain’s Spring Break and I invite you to take a break from your martial arts training as well.
What? Heresy, you say! No, I’m serious. We all need a break from even the BEST DISCIPLINES, martial arts included. Of course who would want to be away from the positive influences in your life? After all, if you stop working don’t you backslide? Ever onward and upward as they say.
That sounds good in theory, but in practice it doesn’t play out. We need to put work aside periodically for 5 simple, profound reasons.
First, after awhile we waste time. We lose focus on achievement and become less and less efficient and ineffective in our labors. Practicing is like sloshing through mud, mentally we hit what economists call “diminishing marginal returns”– less return for more effort.
Second, we need a fresh perspective. New experiences and different inputs mesh with our experiences in ways we would never achieve without taking a break. Now, if you just plop in front of the TV for your break you probably won’t get any sort of valuable perspective at all. Shutting off your brain completely isn’t “active recovery” of the sort that I’m talking about. An active lifestyle is what I mean. Keep your body and brain alive with new, unusual challenges and they will help you when you return.
Third, we need to recharge our batteries. When we get emotionally run down, everything gets harder. When daily stresses overwhelm our systems nothing seems to work anymore. See point #1. After a break we return eager for action and primed for accomplishment. We need what’s called “activation energy” to experience flow, or optimal experience. Changing things up with new places and new adventures helps restore this mental energy.
Fourth, is the “reminiscence effect.” When you take a break from training you lose all the small details and retain only the “big picture.” The good news here is that many of the small mistakes you make tend to fall away as well. When you return you may be surprised to find learning easier and be better than before. Trust me, this happened to me with my martial arts training several times. I didn’t know what was going on until I came across the reminiscence effect.
Fifth, there is more to life than training. My martial arts teacher told me that while I was in a fit of obsession with training. Boy, did I need that. Achieving Black Belt and Life Mastery is a LONG process and committing to the path helps us take necessary breaks and still return to the path. Breaks make it easier for us to commit and re-commit to our long-term goals. No one makes it to the top of the highest mountain without regular breaks. Just make sure you weave them into a long-term vision or else breaks will mean stopping altogether.
This is why we have to FORCE ourselves to take a momentary rest before we suffer from “karoshi” the Japanese word for dying from overwork. They have so many people dying from overwork they had to create a word for it.
Beware…
Poor Julius Caesar. He was warned to beware of treachery on this day, March 15th so long ago. He failed to listen, to heed the signs and paid dearly. With his life.
The word “beware” is one of the most powerful words in our language, and although it has a negative connotation, if you heed the signs they can guide you through life’s dangers to ultimate success.
Back to Caesar. Perhaps he thought he was untouchable, that he was safe because he was emperor. Maybe he believed Brutus would protect him, as evidenced by, “Et tu, Brute?” displaying his shock that Brutus betrayed him. Whatever the reason, he failed to be on guard against the forces that would be his undoing.
It may help you to look at Beware as “be aware.” Be aware of all the opportunities that present themselves–all the good that flows into your life. Look on the upside, see the best in every situation…but…
Be aware of the dangers, the pitfalls, and the treachery that arise as well. Seeing through rose-colored glasses and ONLY seeing the positive no matter how much danger besets you is naive optimism. Focusing on accenting the positive, while at the same time, accurately seeing that which would destroy your hopes and dreams and taking action to prevent it is intelligent optimism.
Naive optimism is the view that there are no weeds in your beautiful garden. Nothing could possibly want to destroy something so wonderful.
Intelligent optimism is the view that the weeds are right over there in the midst of your beautiful garden. You then take action to eradicate them so you can preserve and enjoy your garden you worked so hard to cultivate.
The lesson from Caesar and the Ides of March is this: Heed the Signs. No matter how dire they may appear, be prepared for the worst while working toward the best. When a trusted adviser gives you the advantage of his perspective–listen.
Here’s a martial arts example on BEWARE:
Students’ motivation levels naturally rise and fall, cyclically throughout their training. The first “motivational dip” occurs between Orange Belt and Advanced Orange Belt for 9 out of 10 students. I’ve seen this pattern hundreds of times so I warn families that it is coming and to be prepared for it because when students persevere through this motivational dip they become more committed to their training and their motivation spikes. If they are unaware, and don’t heed my warning, they invariably and unnecessarily, give up and drop out.
BEWARE forces you to focus on the negative, to face it head on and overcome it. Only in this way will the positive prevail.
All it takes is 1 little mistake
February 8, 2010 by bradscornavacco
Filed under Success
Just after half-time in Sunday’s Super Bowl I started telling everyone in the room that there hadn’t been 1 turnover in the game. Both teams were playing mistake-free football. With such a close contest the difference between failure and success, winning and losing often comes down to who makes the first mistake…or…who first causes the opponent to make a mistake.
“What is the 1 LITTLE MISTAKE that would keep you from ‘winning it all’?”
“What it the 1 LITTLE MISTAKE could you make that would prevent you or your child from reaching your dream of Being a Black Belt?”
\What is the 1 BIG MISTAKE that could cause everything you’ve been working so hard toward to be intercepted and run back into the opposite direction?”
Need help coming up with something?
Here’s 1 LITTLE MISTAKE IN THINKING I’ve heard recently from a family who toured our Academy.
1 LITTLE MISTAKE IN THINKING= “Do you really think a child is able to make a commitment to train to Black Belt?“
I couldn’t have answered this question any better than pointing to two entire rows of Junior Brown and Black Belts in class at the time! I don’t have to think about it…those kids are living it. And we both know, it’s really the parent’s ability to help the child keep the commitment that is the critical success factor.
This 1 LITTLE MISTAKE IN THINKING is that somehow you must first have the very skill you’ve come to SMAA to learn.
- Adults come to me worried that they are not in good enough shape to come to Kickboxing or Bootcamp to get in shape.
- Adults worry that they don’t know any martial arts when they are coming to the Adult Self-Defense classes to learn martial arts.
- Parents lament their children’s lack of Discipline, Perseverance and Commitment when those are the very Lifeskills we teach them and help them learn.
Perhaps a child cannot keep his commitments and be disciplined because everyone backs away from letting him learn the lessons.
As Peyton Manning can tell you, an entire year’s worth of the hardest effort can be all for naught because of 1 LITTLE MISTAKE.
January 25, 2010 by bqsinc
Filed under Success, Uncategorized
Work “Smharder!”
Last weekend Dr. Karla and I had a slight, I wouldn’t say disagreement, more like a differing perspective on the popular, well-worn saying, “you have to work smarter, not harder.”
I must say that I am guilty of too-often forgetting that most people do not have my experience and area of expertise, which precipitated the “disagreement.” Not that Dr. K doesn’t (she does), I mean non-educators.
The offending article was from the Atlantic Monthly about what makes great teachers, the “work smarter, not harder” quote was from a successful teacher to his class. Before I begin my explanation let me say that Dr. K is right, we DO have to work smarter and students need to know that often there “is a better way,” and doing poorly usually is not a product of inability.
I agree 100% on the “work smarter” part of the quote. I’m stumbling my way through setting up and improving our school websites right now. I know that “there’s an easier way, I just have to find it.” (I have that quote taped to my computer screen) My last conversation with our web designer confirmed this. She laughed and, after showing me the easier ways, said that I’ll be a pro before too long.
Kids DO have to be told that there is an easier, smarter way–and great teachers show them.
I take umbrage with saying because of the “not harder” part. As I said, I understand the point of the saying but rail against the cliche for the sole fact that we MUST work, and work hard, usually harder than we are working now to progress and succeed.
I say we have to work both Smarter and Harder.
Great teachers show us how to work smarter, how to get results faster, and how to use effective strategies and tactics we don’t know about. We students have a responsibility to also work harder to implement their advice.
“Hard (& Smart) Work ALWAYS Beats Talent
When Talent Refuses to Work Hard”
Be sure to read Dr. Karla’s blog entry about one of her father’s favorite sayings…
The King is Dead, Long Live the King!
The King is Dead, Long Live the King!
Welcome to the last week of 2009.
I grew up watching the TV Show Family Classics every Sunday at my grandmother’s house on WGN in Chicago.
Each week host Frazier Thomas would introduce us to old movies made “family friendly.” Errol Flynn, ironically, was popular, with movies such as Robin Hood, The Sea Hawk and Captain Blood airing regularly. In fact, many of the Family Classics movies were about kings and knights and such.
One of the cheers I routinely heard viewing these movies was, “The King is Dead, Long Live the King!” As a kid, this made zero sense to me. Why would they say long live the king? He just died. Life’s unsolved mysteries…
It wasn’t until I was a little older that it dawned on me that they were talking about TWO DIFFERENT KINGS. Duh. NOW it made sense.
So why am I bringing this up?
Because The Old King is Dead, or at least about to die. 2009 is just about over. Now is the time to reflect on this “king” and what life was like this past year. All the highs, lows and everything in between. It is time to pay our respects. Take some time to sit and write about the year, this old kingdom that will never be again. Don’t lose your experiences.
The New King is Alive. 2010 is about to begin, but before it does we have this final week of 2009 to Plan and Create what this new Kingdom will shape up to be. Plans will most certainly change, fade away and other plans take their place. Random events will pop up and make incomprehensible all the best-laid plans Of Mice(?) And Men. Yet Plan we must, if we are to wrest any sense of control and direction from an increasingly demanding world. Don’t get caught looking back a year from now, facing 2011, shaking your head wondering, “how did 2010 turn out this way.” As they say, The Best Way to Predict Your Future is to Create It, so nail your List of Demands for King 2010 on the castle door now.
The King is Dead! Long Live the King!
Brad Scornavacco
Head of School
Killer TV’s Are On The Loose
Killer TV’s Are On The Loose
Yes, you read that correctly. It sounds like something from a bad 1950’s Science Fiction Movie, but it’s real: TV’s are literally killing children all over America.
I happened across this mind-boggling article this morning. Here’s an excerpt:
“A team from the Center for Injury Research and Policy at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Ohio reviewed data from 100 emergency rooms and estimated that about 14,700 furniture-related injuries occurred each year between 1990 and 2007 – almost half due to TV sets, the most common article involved in the accidents – and resulted in about 300 deaths.”
As it turns out, TV sets are falling on, or more accurately being pulled over on top of, children and crushing them to death. The article goes on to say that securing TV sets, like you would with the newest flat-screens, may go a long way to preventing injury and death.
That’s good news….
…but it got me to thinking today about other, more insidious ways that TV’s are doing much greater harm to our children besides crushing them.
It bring up the question, “what does it cost you (and your children) to own your TV?”
Now you might respond with, “anywhere from a couple hundred to a few thousands of dollars, depending on the model, plus your monthly fee for cable.”
You’d be wrong.
That’s what it cost to BUY your TV. Here’s what it costs to OWN it.
The average child in America watches between 4 and 8 hours OF TV A DAY?! That’s such an outrageous number that is seems impossible…but we know it’s true. Think of it this way–most children have a “part-time to full-time job to watch TV.”
That’s 4-8 hours–each and every day–being bombarded with “mind-numbing” messages, including a constant barrage of junk-food ads. I won’t even get into the questionable moral situations and violence.
You may not believe that people, and children, are directly and indirectly influenced by what they see day in and day out on TV….but if you’re a parent, you will undoubtedly agree that CHILDREN LEARN BY WATCHING. So what are they watching?
More so than the brain damage hour after hour of “mental junk-food” TV provides, I’d like to address The Hidden Costs Of TV–what is sapping the Life-Force from our children–”Zombifying them”–so that it’s almost like killing them.
The Hidden Cost of 4-8 hours of TV is more than the inane programming…it’s what children are NOT doing because they are plopped in front of the Idiot Box.
With 4-8 hours in front of a TV your child is NOT:
- Engaging in unstructured, IMAGINATIVE PLAY
- Getting 30-60 minutes of Physical Exercise
- Developing Social Skills while interacting with other children
- Drawing, painting, playing music–CREATING
- Learning New Skills, exercising his or her Brain
- Reading or Writing or Studying
- Working toward and Achieving ANY worthwhile Goal
- Creating “Flow”–Optimal Experience
And that’s just A FEW of the Hidden Costs of TV. Whew!
So here are 5 Simple Steps to Keep TV From Killing Your Kids:
1) Secure it. Make sure it doesn’t fall on your child.
2) Hide it. Put it in an armoir or behind a curtain, so it’s like watching a movie. Hiding it will help keep it “out of sight, out of mind.”
3) Limit it. Place strict limits on its use. Make it a reward AFTER doing any of the activities on the above list, or other activities that you value and require. (Do the same for their internet use) You can limit TV to weekends-only, or have “no TV” days. Sunday is a popular no TV day.
4) Replace it. Replace the “electronic babysitter” with a real, live babysitter. Or at least find a way for others to spend time with your child. Remember, “it takes a village”, so find and connect with “a village.”
5) Record it. Use Tivo or a DVR to record only what you deem watchable beforehand. You can skip the commercials (or mute them) and only watch what you value.
So, Think Outside of the (idiot) Box and Keep Your Child’s Brain Alive and Well.